I’ve been on a bit of a sabbatical with this website. I truly love drawing. So much so that I left drawing the sort of things that you would see on this site and started working on personal art projects. My personal art needs attention from time to time. I feel guilty when I don’t draw things that my wife calls “pretty.” Not because of her. But because I feel those things require skill that this website does not. I hate the idea of a skill going to waste.
Have you ever had a talent that you wished you didn’t have? That’s how I feel regularly. Not to sound ungrateful — please let me explain. I love that I have this talent. But I do not make my living from it. This means I do not have much time to do it because of work. So, when I spend time doing all the necessary things that life throws at me instead of drawing in the little free time that I have, I feel inadequate, overwhelmed, not up to par — and most importantly, like I’m squandering a gift that many others would love to have. If I didn’t have the talent I could forego all of those feelings and experience what I perceive as happiness. Don’t get me wrong. I am a happy guy. But there has always been something gnawing at me.
I’ve always tried to balance the forces tugging at my emotions, needs and desires. So far in life I’ve been unable to find the solution to that problem. Lately though, I think my mind has experienced a bit of renaissance. Somehow something has clicked in my head. I feel I can take care of the things I want to do, the things I need to do, and the things I feel obligated to do even though I’m not. This includes History Illustrated.
I truly love history. I truly love teaching. I truly love drawing. I would truly love to combine all of those things and make a legacy of it. I have begun reworking this website to fit the mold that I think will inspire me to create content for it again. I also reopened my personal art site at inkmethod.com. I do not plan to make a lot of money with either. I plan to seek inner peace. In the past I didn’t see much use in doing something if it didn’t make me a living. After I became a father a few years ago that began to change. I find meaning in many things that I never did in the past. But one thing I do know is that I do not want my children to witness a father that does not follow through with what he says, let his passion drive him, and go to places for the purpose of seeking happiness instead of riches.
I can manage doing all the things that I love. From this moment on — I plan to do so.